Grimgal Of Ashes And Illusion / Grimgal of Ashes and Illusion Vol 4 Chapter 2
LEVEL 4: Chapters of the Chosen and Choosers
Chapter 2: Funya-Funyan
(Funya-Funyan is Japanese onomatopoeia for flabby, limp, lacking energy. We might change it at some point, but probably won’t. -hika)
Yume was funya-funyaing. What did that even mean anyhow? Yume had no idea either. All she knew was that she was funya-funya and didn’t know how to describe it any other way.
Because she was funya-funya, getting up and out of bed was way too much effort. So she remained sprawled on her reserve force lodge bunk. Once in a while she would flip over to one side or the other, but since she was funya-funya, even that required a tremendous amount of effort.
She also had to pee. She’d been holding it a long time now and she reckoned that it’d be best to get up and go do the necessary. Sooner or later she’d have to get up, no mistake about it, but because she was funya-funya she didn’t feel like it now.
“Yume?” Shihoru called her name.
As much as Yume wanted to reply, she was funya-funya so it was too much effort to get her vocal chords to respond.
At last, Yume managed with, “Hmm?”
“You’re not hungry?” Shihoru asked.
Yume thought about it. She supposed she wasn’t not hungry; if she were to eat something then she would have eaten it, so by all accounts she could eat. But she didn’t really feel like eating. Whatever, she felt fine enough without eating so that must’ve meant she didn’t have to eat.
“Yume, it’s not good to starve yourself…”
“Are you listening to me?”
This won’t do, the funya-funya Yume thought to herself. She should reply properly. No matter how much she reckoned she should’ve, though, she couldn’t. She wasn’t trying to give Shihoru a hard time, it was just total lack of energy and motivation to do anything. She wasn’t just physically funya-funya, but mentally too.
“You need to get a grip on yourself,” Shihoru suddenly exclaimed in a half-whisper.
Because she had said it so quickly and in such a hushed voice, Yume couldn’t tell if Shihoru meant for her to hear it. She knew though, that Shihoru was annoyed. Maybe even mad. It was the first time Shihoru said anything to her in that tone. Yume couldn’t recall Shihoru ever having spoken to her like that.
Yume flopped over to regard Shihoru, who was sitting on the bed next to hers. She was hanging her head, gaze towards the floor.
“Sorry…” Yume apologized. Shihoru quickly shook her head without looking up and said, “I’m sorry too.”
“You don’t have anythin’ to apologize for,” Yume said.
“You didn’t do anythin’ wrong.”
“No, I did…” Shihoru insisted.
“I think I did.”
“Oh…” Yume finally capitulated.
“What… are we going to do from now on?” Shihoru whispered.
Yume tried thinking about it, but her brain refused to work. The wheels and cogs inside stayed at a dead stop. She tried thinking anyways, uncharacteristically desperate to find adequate words.
“Um, Shihoru?” Yume finally said.
“Yume’s really bad at these kinda things. Yume hates hurtin’ and feelin’ sad… everyone does, right?”
“Yes, I suppose…”
“But you know, for example, if there was a big rainstorm…”
Yume continued, “And it was rainin’ super hard, you wouldn’t go outside for a walk, right? You’d stay inside and hope. You’d hope for it to stop rainin’.”
“I guess I would, yes.”
“But who could really make it stop? It’s like that… There’s nothin’ no one could’ve done about it.”
“Nothing at all…?” Shihoru asked, doubtful.
“Err, meanin’ I don’t think it’s anyone’s bad that things turned out like this. It’s just the way things turned out. It all feels like some big ol’ lie. Yume never thought somethin’ like this could happen.”
“I… me too.”
“Why didn’t Yume ever expect it?” Yume asked herself. “It’s not like these things don’t happen. Yume was supposed to have known that it might’ve, at least…”
Because it wasn’t the first time. No, it had happened once before but Yume had never dreamed that it would happen again. The death of a friend. That Mogzo would die.
“Yume is such an idiot,” said Yume, flipping over to lie on her stomach. Her entire body felt heavy, funya-funya. “Yume was too stupid. This happened because Yume is a big, stupid idiot.”
This time, Shihoru didn’t reply.
Yume suddenly felt very sleepy, but she knew that she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. She flopped over onto her back. Her body was heavier and more funya-funya than ever before. She had no desire to move. And for the time being, she remained unmoving, unable to move.